Marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment, but when it turns into a cycle of resentment and unresolved conflicts, it can have devastating effects on your health. Even relationships that start with love and hope can become harmful if problems are allowed to fester.
A bad marriage with frequent conflicts is not only emotionally painful but also poses serious health risks. Chronic stress and turmoil from such conflicts can lead to lasting physical and mental health consequences.
Here are three potential impacts of an unhappy marriage on your health.
1. Increased Health Risks
Men who were unhappy in their marriages had almost double the risk of having a stroke at 94% and a 21% higher risk of dying from any cause compared to those who were satisfied in their marriages, found a 2021 study.
The study followed participants for over three decades, showing that the adverse effects of being unhappy in marriage persist over a long time and significantly affect health.
Moreover, constant tension can lead to the release of stress hormones, which increase blood pressure and heart rate, potentially resulting in chronic conditions like hypertension and cardiovascular disease.
A 2014 study published in Journal of Health and Social Behavior found that poor marital quality is linked to higher cardiovascular risk, especially for older women. The negative health impacts of a bad marriage are more pronounced for women than for men in later life.
Marital quality is a powerful predictor of health for both men and women, with poor relationships significantly increasing the risk of severe health issues and mortality over time.
2. Negative Impact On Mental Health
“Conflict can be particularly damaging for health if spouses are hostile or defensive during disagreements or if they are arguing about the same topic over and over again without any resolution,” explained Rosie Shrout, Assistant Professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Science at Purdue University, in an interview with The Guardian.
Another study conducted by Pennsylvania State University explained that over 12 years, people in poor-quality marriages reported being less happy, having lower self-esteem and experiencing worse overall health compared to those who were happily married.
In fact, staying in a bad marriage can be worse than getting divorced, as those who left unhappy marriages and either stayed single or remarried felt better and had higher life satisfaction than those who stayed unhappily married.
Moreover, marital unhappiness can lead to changes in brain function, impacting memory, learning, decision-making and attention. Marital quality significantly influenced men’s cognitive trajectories but had less impact on women. A 2021 study by Michigan State University researchers explains that men with declining marital quality experienced a faster rate of cognitive decline.
3. Hindrances To Healing
Prolonged stress from an unhappy marriage can weaken the immune system by increasing inflammation and slowing down the body’s ability to heal, making individuals more susceptible to infections, chronic conditions and delayed recovery from injuries.
A 2023 study published in Psychoneuroendocrinology examined negative communication patterns between married couples—such as unresolved arguments and avoidance of discussions—and their impact on both physical and emotional health.
The researchers found that couples who engaged in more negative communication experienced slower wound healing and higher levels of inflammation, a clear indicator of stress on the body. These effects were particularly pronounced in women compared to men.
The study suggests that poor communication in marriage not only damages emotional well-being but also directly affects physical health, increasing vulnerability to illness and prolonging recovery.
“What we’re seeing is that both chronic daily negativity and acute negativity, and their combination—experiencing both of those—is particularly bad for couples’ emotions, relationships and immune functioning,” explained the study’s lead author, Shrout, to ScienceDaily.
Another 2019 study explains that stress and unhappiness in a marriage can negatively impact gut health. When couples are stressed, their gut microbiota (the bacteria in the digestive system) can become imbalanced, leading to issues like “leaky gut,” where harmful substances pass into the bloodstream. This disruption can cause inflammation and increase the risk of chronic conditions like obesity and heart disease.
Stress and conflict in a relationship can also lead to poor health habits, such as bad eating, not getting enough sleep and not exercising. These bad habits can cause weight gain, high blood pressure and even increased inflammation in the body, which can accelerate aging and make people more likely to get sick.
A stressful marriage can make both partners less healthy over time because their bodies are constantly in a state of stress and imbalance. Being unhappy in marriage is bad for your health—almost as bad as smoking or drinking—and efforts to improve marital satisfaction could potentially save lives.
Think you are unhappy in your marriage? Take this test to find out: Marital Satisfaction Scale.
