If you find a new sexual partner this Winter Holiday season, take appropriate precautions. Beware of getting snowed by someone participating in the “snowmanning” dating trend. Otherwise, you may be left feeling out in the cold or, worse yet, left with something that you definitely don’t want: a sexually transmitted infection.
The Definition Of ‘Snowmanning’
Now, “snowmanning” is not about hooking up with a real snowman or sporting a corncob pipe and a broomstick in your hand while in the bedroom with someone. Instead, “snowmanning” is when someone new quickly gets all hot and heavy with you during the Winter season only to have all of his or her interest suddenly melt away soon thereafter. In the extreme case, you could go from hardly knowing a person to roasting chestnuts on the open fire with him or her, so to speak, to then getting the frosty treatment, all within the course of 24 hours. In fact, “snowmanning” could lead to the other person completely disappearing as in ghosting or even “cloaking” you.
Casual Sex May Increase During The Winter Holiday Season
Folks at eHarmony first popularized this not-so-harmonious term back in 2019. This was based in part on a casual observation: that people may be more likely to engage in casual sex during the Winter Holiday season. That observation has been supported by results from the Hometown Holiday Hook-Up Survey conducted by Everlywell, a health-testing company based in Austin, Texas. You could say that this survey of 850 singles, ranging from 18 to 44 years of age caught the eyes of the casual viewer. Nearly 60% of the respondents indicated that they plan to have casual sex when home for the holidays this year, and 43% reported having more casual sex when home for the Holidays than the rest of the year.
There are a number of reasons why casual sex encounters may increase during the Winter Holidays:
- The cold weather: You know how that Winter Wonderland song goes, “Later on we’ll conspire as we dream by the fire?” Well, cuddling for warmth by the fire can lead to other stuff.
- The Holidays can be stressful: I’ve covered for Forbes previously the different ways that the Holiday Season can be stressful. Being up in arms against your family members, the year-end crunch in your job or shopping pressures can send you running into the arms of someone else.
- The Holidays can be a lonely time: There are plenty of Holiday songs about loneliness, ranging from “Christmas is the Saddest Day of the Year” to that classic “Blue Christmas.” Being single when couples around you are whooping it up for the Holidays can be tough. Even having a relationship going into the Holiday season doesn’t guarantee that you won’t be lonely or even still in a relationship due to the whole “Scrooging” trend that I’ve described.
- Being in a different location: Traveling for the Holidays may put you temporarily in a different less familiar location, which you may leave you feeling a bit alienated but also at the same time among new people in a place where may feel you have less accountability.
- Alcohol: Guess what? Holidays parties can have lots of alcohol. And we’re not talking about rubbing alcohol. Here’s another shocker, alcohol can lower your inhibition and impair your judgement. Who would have thunk it?
- Holiday celebrations: Even without the alcohol, Holiday Parties themselves can bring new people together in different configurations. An innocent game of Twister, for example, can bring some interesting twists, so to speak.
The Emotional Risks of Snowmanning
Casual sex may be perfectly fine if all parties involved know the deal and have matched shared expectations. As has been said, happiness can equal reality minus expectations. Problems arise, though, when one side is expecting more than the other. For example, if you think you’ve met someone potentially for the long haul but to that person you are nothing but a truck stop, there could be emotional fallout on your part, ranging from disappointment to maybe even anxiety or depression.
The Physical Risks of Snowmanning
Besides your head and your heart, “snowmanning” could put other parts of your body at risk, including the body parts that got you in trouble in the first place: your genitals. Casual sex can put you at greater risk for a range of different sexually transmitted infections such as syphilis, gonorrhoa, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, viral hepatitis, herpes, HIV and human papillomavirus infections. These are gifts that unfortunately may keep giving. You can also find yourself in physical danger if the other person is prone to violence or different types of risky behavior.
Take The Proper Precautions
So, even if you are down with someone who may say, “Let’s run and we’ll have some fun now, before I melt away,” you may want to take the following precautions before opening yourself up to snowmanning or any kind of casual sex for that matter:
- Get to know the person and his or her history as much as possible first: Knowing the other person’s real name will certainly help. For example, that will give you a name to shout should you somehow be inclined to do so at some point during the night. But it’s usually better to know much more than that, such as the person’s background and sexual risk history.
- Be clear about expectations: Make sure you have frank conversations about what you want, what you really, really want. And in this case, frank don’t mean discussing hot dogs.
- Think before you act: Let’s face it. Your genitals are not always great at long-term thinking. When considering casual sex, realize what you are getting yourself into and be cognizant of the risks. Also, ask yourself whether the anticipated momentary pleasure is worth the potential risk.
- Use barrier protection like condoms: Birth control pills and other contraceptive approaches that do not provide a physical barrier between both of your naughty bits will not protect you against STIs.
- Share STI test results: Don’t rely on appearances. There’s no such thing as “looks like he or she doesn’t have an STI.” The only way to tell with any certainty is to get yourselves tested for the different possible STIs before any sexual contact.
- Tell friends about where you are going: You may not be comfortable letting others know that you are hopping into bed with some random person you met at Costco. But things could get even more uncomfortable if something were to go wrong and no one knew where you were.
Finally, keep the big picture and long game in mind. Don’t put yourself at unnecessary risk for “snowmanning” or STIs just because you are feeling lonely, bored, anxious or stressed momentarily during the Holiday season. Instead, keep the big picture and long game in mind and your head clear. Don’t allow your judgment to get impaired with too much wine, spirits, bourbon-filled fruitcake or any other substances without proper safety nets, such as having your friends around protecting you. This way you may be able to better tell whether the person you are sidling up with is up to snow good.
