On the AskWomen subreddit, a thought-provoking question emerged: for women who prioritize financial security over love, how did their choices shape their lives?
Among the responses, Redditor theansweriscats shared a compelling story about the costs and benefits of financial stability. She married a successful older man who became both her partner and mentor, teaching her discipline, organization and a story work ethic. While she valued the financial security and life lessons, the relationship lacked emotional connection.
“I was never in love with him, but I appreciated the financial stability,” she admitted.
Her life shifted when her husband left her and their children for a younger woman. Instead of being defeated, she used the skills she had learned to build her own success. Rising to an executive position, she eventually found love with a new partner.
“Years later, I am making seven figures,” she reflected.
The story highlights a deeper question: was the financial security worth the emotional toll? While theansweriscats turned her life around, her journey shows that choosing money over love can come at a steep price.
Many women in the AskWomen thread echoed that sentiment, admitting that prioritizing their education, careers and personal growth gave them a more reliable path to financial freedom than depending on a partner.
Theansweriscats credited much of her success to the lessons she learned from her partner. “Honestly, I could not have secured my own financial stability if it were not for learning all that I did from my ex-husband,” she wrote. “I still hear his voice in my head advising me.”
Her story also serves as a cautionary tale about the risks of financial dependency. According to data from YouGov, more than one-third of women in relationships report being financially dependent on their partner, with 15% stating they are fully dependent and 20% admitting to being somewhat reliant.
Financial independence means financially sustaining yourself without relying on an external source of income, explained Melissa Terry, a chartered financial analyst at VEM Tooling in Kenner, Louisiana. In a Forbes interview, she described financial independence as “a state where one has acquired enough wealth, assets, and income to sustain their desired lifestyle”.
