Are parents nowadays abundantly stressed out?
Yep, for sure.
Does the stress of being a parent impact the mental health of the parent?
According to the Surgeon General’s latest report, yes, abundantly so. This newly released advisory is entitled “Parents Under Pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory On The Mental Health & Well-Being Of Parents” and was made publicly available on August 28, 2024, posted online at the official Office Of the Surgeon General webpage under the umbrella website of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).
I will walk you through some of the key elements of the advisory.
In addition, and here’s the eye-opening twist for you, I heartily propose that generative AI can be a huge and beneficial tool to aid parents and especially aim to act as a kind of mental health therapist when it comes to parenting. There is something to be said about having an always-on-at-the-ready AI-powered assistant that a parent can confer with. This is an online coaching apparatus that can be accessed nearly anywhere and at an extremely low cost.
That being said, let’s not lose our heads. Generative AI is not a cure-all. Parents need to be mindful about using generative AI. Don’t believe everything that generative AI tells you. Do not blindly carry out suggestions made by generative AI. Most of all, be eyeing the chance of generative AI telling you off-the-wall stuff that is utterly inappropriate and never should be taken seriously by a parent (known generally as AI hallucinations).
I will cover the full gamut of what’s good and bad about the use case of generative AI for parental advisement.
For my ongoing readers and new readers, this vital discussion continues my in-depth series about the impact of generative AI in the health and medical realm. The focus this time is once again on the mental health domain and examines how generative AI can be useful to parents, particularly concerning the stresses and psychological impacts of being a parent in our hectic modern world.
Previously, I have examined numerous interleaving facets of generative AI and mental health, see my comprehensive overview at the link here. You might also find of notable interest a CBS 60 Minutes episode that recently examined crucial facets of this evolving topic, see the link here (I am honored and pleased to indicate that I was featured in the episode, see the link here).
Other vital postings in my column include in-depth coverage of mental health chatbots which have been bolstered by generative AI (see the link here) and the rapidly changing nature of the client-therapist relationship due to generative AI at the link here. I explored where things are headed regarding the levels of AI-based mental therapy autonomous guidance at the link here, and showcased the importance of the World Health Organization (WHO) report on global health and generative AI at the link here, and so on.
On a related tangent, you might also like to know that a prior Surgeon General advisory recommended social media warning labels, which I used as a bridge toward an out-of-the-box proposal that warning labels be associated with the use of generative AI, see the link here. I’m waiting to see if anything comes of the suggestion. Fingers crossed. Will certainly keep you posted.
Okay, let’s move along and get underway.
Parenting And Mental Health Impacts
The Surgeon General has laid out in Parents Under Pressure a fully logical and seemingly irrefutable claim that being a parent in this era is highly stressful and leads inevitably to mental health repercussions.
That’s an important point. It might not be a surprise, but it is well worth stating. In a sense, it is a kind of hidden secret that stands in plain sight.
One supposes that any parent could tell you roughly the same thing. Even non-parents probably would attest that the parents that they interact with are constantly stressed and the strain is visible and demonstrably impactful. We all witness it each day. Day in, day out.
All in all, a frequent ad hoc piece of advice seems to be that’s just the way the ball bounces. Accept that stress and mental health beatdowns are part and parcel of present-day parenting. Buck up and take it.
Hold on, maybe this is more to be said.
Indeed, the Surgeon General has opted to bring the weighty matter to widespread attention and is using the esteemed bully pulpit to do so. Thank goodness, I say. It is about time to recognize that parents need recognition for what they do and what they endure. Furthermore, they need our collective help and heartfelt support from all quarters.
Boom, drop the mic.
Lamentedly, to a certain extent, the children of parents are in the same boat as the parents. I mention this because the adversities of a parent will undoubtedly spill over onto the kids. You cannot somehow assume that children will be unaffected by whatever stress and mental anguish the parent is experiencing. What happens to the parents will in one fashion or another impact the kids, and what happens to the kids will in one manner or another impact the parents.
Think of this as a parent-child spiral that can be delightful in some instances and regrettably dismal in other instances. The kids have something wonderful occur and this can be a tremendous boost to the parents. Happy face. On the other hand, something undesirable arises for the kids and this can create mental angst for the parents. Sad face.
Round and round this goes.
If you are interested in a deep dive into related ramifications, see my analysis of ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) in which I also identify the ways that generative AI can be of assistance in reducing or mitigating ACE-related consequences, see the link here.
Major Points In The Surgeon General Advisory
Next, take a look at some major points that the Surgeon General noted in the Parents Under Pressure advisory (excerpts):
- “Parents often say parenting is one of the best jobs but also one of the hardest.”
- “In addition to the traditional challenges of parenting—protecting children from harm, worrying about finances, managing teenagers who are searching for independence—there are new stressors that previous generations didn’t have to consider. These include the complexity of managing social media, parents’ concerns about the youth mental health crisis, and an epidemic of loneliness that disproportionately affects young people and parents, just to name a few.”
- “There are approximately 63 million parents living with children under the age of 18 in the U.S.A.”
- “When stress is severe or prolonged, it can have a deleterious effect; 41% of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function and 48% say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to other adults (20% and 26%, respectively).”
- “Additionally, the significant mental labor involved with parenting—balancing complex schedules, anticipating a child’s evolving needs, making countless decisions each day on behalf of a child, and monitoring progress—can limit working memory capacity and negatively impact attentional resources, cognitive functioning, and psychological well-being.”
I’d ask that you give due contemplation to those above-cited points.
Here’s the gist of it.
First, an important point is that there are about 63 million parents in America with children who are minors living with them. That is a sizable portion of our population. The key takeaway is that the active parenting role is taking place at scale. In that sense, if we can do something productive related to parenting, it has massive at-scale impacts.
Let’s try to make sure that whatever we do produces positive impacts and not negative ones.
Second, there’s a classic point in there that I see come up all the time. It goes like this. A parent with a child is confronted by a parent who was from a prior era, of which all their children are now seasoned adults. The prior-time parent tells the new-time parent that there is nothing different about being a parent today versus an era or two ago.
A parent is a parent.
Period, end of story.
This happens usually because the prior-time parents feel that they endured hardships that are not now being recognized. The impression is that the new-time parents are getting the limelight that they never received. If no one seemed to care before, it eats away at the idea of out-in-the-open caring now.
Allow me to take a moment and thank the prior-time parents and give them the recognition they avidly deserve.
We thank you for your herculean efforts.
Now then, I don’t want to get bogged down further in the heated argument about then versus now, but I will say this. Per the Surgeon General as observed above, the advent of the Internet, social media, digital addictions (see my coverage at the link here), and the like, a reasoned case can be made that parenting today differs from the parenting of yesterday.
Yikes, I said it.
Please know that I am not going to get sideways on which parent has had things better or worse. That’s pretty much a losing argument for all parties. If possible, maybe we can just say that the societal and technological world of today provides new challenges and that we ought to all do what we can to aid parents in their quest to raise their children in that rough and tumble milieu of today.
Can we say that?
I hope so.
Steps To Take As Urged By The Surgeon General
I assume that you can now plainly see that society has a quite large and vexing problem on its hands.
We’ve got lots of present-time parents and they are overly stressed and incurring mental health ramifications. Besides making sure that society as a whole is aware of this, there ought to be something else we can do to aid or to some degree “solve” the problem at hand.
Here’s what the Surgeon General mentions in this latest advisory (excerpts):
- “First, it’s time to value and respect time spent parenting on par with time spent working at a paying job, recognizing the critical importance to society of raising children.” (ibid).
- “Second, while parents and caregivers may have the primary responsibility for raising children, they shouldn’t have to do it entirely on their own.” (ibid).
- “Third, we need to talk openly about the stress and struggles that come with parenting.” (ibid).
- “Fourth, we must foster a culture of connection among parents to combat loneliness and isolation.” (ibid).
- “By pursuing these shifts, we can foster a culture that values, supports, and empowers parents and caregivers. We can also address key stressors that drive parental well-being and mental health.” (ibid).
Do you think those are sensible solutions?
If so, are they feasibly doable?
I guess you could say that we ought to give this an erstwhile try. Let’s put our minds and hearts to doing so. Come on, everybody, pitch in.
With regard to the mental health particulars, here’s what the Surgeon General’s advisory stated (excerpts):
- “Recognize how mental health challenges manifest and seek help when needed.” (ibid).
- “Mental health is just as important as physical health.” (ibid).
- “If you feel bad and are not getting better, you need and deserve additional care.” (ibid).
- “Don’t be afraid to ask for support from a peer, family member, mental health provider, or any medical professional.” (ibid).
All of that seems reasonable and well-needed.
But, maybe, just maybe, it is slightly incomplete. Here’s what I mean. To me, I see something that is unstated but that would be an additional and possibly vital contributor to aiding the mental health of parents. I’m sure you are reading my mind and know what I am about to say.
Generative AI.
Yes, generative AI is an added tool in the toolbox, available today, offering useful ways to assist modern-era parents as they struggle and seek to contend with the woes and pressures of raising children in a complicated technological AI-emerging epoch.
Let’s unpack that.
Generative AI As Useful For Mental Health Therapy
I’m sure you’ve heard of generative AI, the darling of the tech field these days.
Perhaps you’ve used a generative AI app, such as the popular ones of ChatGPT, GPT-4o, Gemini, Bard, Claude, etc. The crux is that generative AI can take input from your text-entered prompts and produce or generate a response that seems quite fluent. This is a vast overturning of the old-time natural language processing (NLP) that used to be stilted and awkward to use, which has been shifted into a new version of NLP fluency of an at times startling or amazing caliber.
The customary means of achieving modern generative AI involves using a large language model or LLM as the key underpinning.
In brief, a computer-based model of human language is established that in the large has a large-scale data structure and does massive-scale pattern-matching via a large volume of data used for initial data training. The data is typically found by extensively scanning the Internet for lots and lots of essays, blogs, poems, narratives, and the like. The mathematical and computational pattern-matching homes in on how humans write, and then henceforth generates responses to posed questions by leveraging those identified patterns. It is said to be mimicking the writing of humans.
I think that is sufficient for the moment as a quickie backgrounder. Take a look at my extensive coverage of the technical underpinnings of generative AI and LLMs at the link here and the link here, just to name a few.
Back to the crux of things.
There are two main avenues to go with generative AI in the realm of mental health guidance:
- (1) By Mental Health Professions. Mental health professionals can opt to make use of generative AI to aid their patients and clients while under their care.
- (2) By The General Public. The general public can make use of generative AI to aid in their self-advancement regarding mental health.
I am going to focus on the use of generative AI by the general public.
If you’d like to learn more about the use of generative AI by mental health professionals as part of their service offerings, see my extensive coverage at the link here.
The use case on the general public usage in this context is this.
Parents are being urged by the Surgeon General advisory that they should seek out a peer, family member, mental health provider, or any medical professional for assistance with their mental health. I wholeheartedly agree. A great recommendation.
In addition, I modestly urge that generative AI be given an opportunity for consideration.
A parent can easily obtain a generative AI app login. They can pretty much easily make use of the generative AI. I say this because generative AI is very easy to use. People who haven’t used generative AI are often of the false impression that using AI requires some steeped training or expertise.
Not so.
I am not suggesting that generative AI for mental health guidance be used in a willy-nilly fashion.
Heavens no.
In fact, I have repeatedly and loudly warned that we are engaged in a global experiment about mental health by allowing generic generative AI to give out therapy-like advice without any semblance of suitable controls, monitoring, regulations, and the like, see my exhortations at the link here.
There are lots of downsides and potential gotchas associated with using generative AI in this sphere, for example:
- Generative AI might provide generic advice rather than personalized advice.
- Generative AI might seem overly confident and lull people into a false sense of trust.
- Generative AI might have outdated content that no longer is considered valid.
- Generative AI might miscalculate context and say the wrong thing.
- Generative AI might trigger someone via wording that is off-putting to the person.
- Generative AI might distract a person from seeking the help of a human therapist.
- Generative AI might end up revealing confidential or private information about a person.
- Generative AI might lead the person toward being dependent upon generative AI for advice.
- Generative AI might misinterpret, misdiagnose, or otherwise be off target.
- Generative AI might contain hidden biases that produce inappropriate advice.
- Generative AI might lack any semblance of accountability for the advice being rendered.
- Generative AI might produce falsehoods, fictitious indications that are so-called “AI hallucinations”.
- Etc.
A lengthy list, for sure.
This is not to say that generative AI should not be used. It is to say that when generative AI is used, care and thoughtful efforts are hopefully top of mind. For my detailed advice on the proper way to proceed in such usage, see the link here.
Generative AI For Parenting Counseling
I will next proceed to examine further the use of generative AI in this context.
This will consist of a series of dialogues with ChatGPT. ChatGPT is a logical choice in this case due to its immense popularity as a generative AI app. An estimated one hundred million weekly active users are said to be utilizing ChatGPT. That’s a lot of people and a lot of generative AI usage underway.
A few quick comments before we launch into using ChatGPT.
If you are going to try to do the same prompts that I show here, realize that the probabilistic and statistical properties will likely produce slightly different results than what I show here. That’s the nature of generative AI and how it is devised.
You also should expect that different generative AI apps will respond in different ways. Not all generative AI apps are the same. The key is that sometimes a particular prompt will work in one generative AI app and not another. Nonetheless, the odds are relatively high that you will get roughly similar responses from all the major generative AI apps such as GPT-4, Gemini, Bard, Claude, etc.
There is also a timing factor to be considered. A prompt that worked today might not work the same way tomorrow. Most of the generative AI apps are continually being updated. The updates might alter internal mechanisms that could change how the generative AI reacts to your prompting.
We are ready to get underway with ChatGPT.
I will ask a starter question to get the conversation going.
- My entered prompt: “Can the stress of being a parent impact the mental health of the parents?
- ChatGPT generated response: “Yes, the stress of being a parent can significantly impact the mental health of parents. Parenting is a demanding role that involves constant responsibilities, decision-making, and emotional investment, which can lead to various mental health challenges.”
You likely observe that ChatGPT is familiar with the topic.
This is a good sign for this discussion. If ChatGPT had not previously encountered data training on a topic at hand, there would be less utility in using the AI. The AI would have to be further data trained, such as the use of Retrieval-Augmented Generation (RAG), as I discuss at the link here.
Let’s jump into the important matter.
- My entered prompt: “Can generative AI be used by parents to help with the stress and mental health impacts of being a parent?”
- ChatGPT generated response:
“Yes, generative AI can be a helpful tool for parents to manage stress and support their mental health. Here are some ways in which generative AI can assist.”
“Emotional Support and Stress Relief: Generative AI can provide conversational support, offering a non-judgmental space for parents to express their feelings, vent frustrations, or discuss challenges. These AI companions can offer empathy, suggest coping strategies, or even provide light-hearted conversation to help reduce stress.”
“Guided Relaxation and Mindfulness: AI can generate personalized meditation scripts or guided relaxation exercises based on a parent’s specific stressors or emotional state. These can be tailored to fit into a busy parent’s schedule, providing moments of calm and mindfulness throughout the day.
“Parenting Advice and Resources: Generative AI can provide tailored parenting advice, helping parents navigate specific challenges with their children. By analyzing a parent’s situation, AI can generate relevant tips, articles, or even step-by-step guides to address issues like sleep training, discipline, or balancing work and family life.”
“Creative Solutions and Problem-Solving: Generative AI can suggest creative activities to keep children engaged, allowing parents some time to relax. This could range from educational games to simple crafts that match a child’s age and interests, reducing the pressure on parents to come up with ideas.”
“Mental Health Check-Ins: Generative AI can check in on parents’ mental health by asking simple questions about their mood or stress levels. Based on responses, the AI can suggest appropriate interventions, like taking a break, engaging in a self-care activity, or seeking professional help if necessary.”
“Time Management and Organization: Generative AI can help parents manage their time more effectively by generating optimized schedules that balance work, childcare, and personal time. This can reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed by multiple responsibilities.”
“Educational Support for Children: Generative AI can assist parents in supporting their children’s education by generating explanations, helping with difficult homework, or suggesting additional learning resources. This can alleviate the pressure parents might feel in helping their children succeed academically.”
End of ChatGPT response
Those are notably useful points.
As always, make sure to double-check whatever generative AI tells you. My reading of the points is that they do a worthwhile job of conveying the various ways that generative AI can be useful to a parent, especially in stress reduction and mental health fortification.
I liked too that the response mentioned ways to have the children use generative AI as a means of aiding both the parent and the child. For example, a parent might be stressed and undergoing mental anguish due to helping their child with tough homework assignments. One means to cope with this would be to hire a tutor, but that might not be affordable. Thus, an alternative is to use generative AI to aid your child with their homework.
If you take that route, be cautious. You don’t want your child to be relying too heavily on generative AI, and your child might get in trouble with their teacher at school for having used generative AI. See my tips and suggestions about this type of usage at the link here.
Dialoguing With Generative AI For Parent Well-Being
I am guessing you want to see the proof in the pudding, as it were.
Here’s what we’ll do. I will take the role of a parent who is stressed out. I will discuss this with ChatGPT and see what the AI says. At the end of this dialogue, I will share my thoughts and review how things went.
Are you ready?
Here we go.
- My entered prompt: “I’m so overwhelmed right now. I feel like I can’t do anything right. The kids are constantly arguing, work is piling up, and I haven’t had a moment to myself in days.”
- ChatGPT generated response: “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Parenting can be incredibly challenging, especially when everything feels like it’s piling up. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Would it help to talk about what’s been the most stressful today?”
- My entered prompt: “Honestly, everything! But the constant fighting between the kids is driving me crazy. I try to keep them busy, but nothing seems to work.”
- ChatGPT generated response: “That sounds really tough. Sibling conflicts can be exhausting. It’s great that you’re trying to keep them occupied. How about we explore some new activities that might engage them and give you a little break? I can suggest some that might match their interests.”
- My entered prompt: “Yeah, that would be helpful. They’re both really into crafts, but I’ve run out of ideas.”
- ChatGPT generated response: “Crafts are a wonderful way to keep them busy! Here’s an idea: How about making a “calm down” jar together? It’s a simple project using a jar, water, glitter, and glue. They can each personalize their own, and it can also serve as a tool to help them manage their emotions when they’re feeling upset.”
- My entered prompt: “That actually sounds like something they’d enjoy. And it might help them calm down too. I’ll give it a try.”
- ChatGPT generated response: “I’m glad it sounds useful! Sometimes engaging kids in activities that promote calm can have a ripple effect on the whole household. Speaking of calm, would you like a quick guided breathing exercise to help you relax before jumping into the craft project? It could help you feel more centered.”
- My entered prompt: “Thanks, please proceed… Okay, I feel a bit better now. I’m going to try the craft with the kids and see how it goes.”
- ChatGPT generated response: “You’ve got this!”
End of ChatGPT dialogue
What did you think of that dialogue?
A few thoughts come to mind.
First, you likely noticed that the interaction was very fluid and fluent. I dare say you would be hard-pressed to ascertain that I was chatting with AI versus a person. The dialogue illustrates how easy it is to carry on a discussion with generative AI. For the ongoing AI research efforts to try and detect human dialogue versus AI-generated dialogue, see the link here.
Second, you might have observed how empathetic the AI was. The AI acknowledged how difficult it is to be a parent. For background on how AI is devised to appear to be empathetic, see my explanation at the link here.
Third, ChatGPT explored with me some of the stressors I was experiencing at that moment. Out of this came the notion that my children are in conflict and that I’ve run out of ideas of how to channel their energies. We landed on the use of crafts and ChatGPT was able to identify a craft avenue that I hadn’t considered.
This showcases a semblance of problem-solving, doing so collaboratively between the parent and the AI.
Fourth, generative AI then gave me a mental health tip on how to try and retain a sense of calmness, despite the chaos happening with my children, and even then did a breathing and calming exercise with me.
I kept going with this dialogue and went in a wide variety of directions. Due to space limitations, I have shown you just a small portion of the discussion. Something that you don’t quite see in this example is the personalization aspects.
Let me describe that.
I opted to tell generative AI about my children in terms of how many there are, their ages, and so on. This is good in having generative AI be able to personalize or tailor the conversation to my specifics. The downside or concern is that most of the generative AI apps have licensing agreements that stipulate they can look at your entered prompts and reuse them for further data training of the AI.
Think about that carefully as to a potential privacy intrusion, see my in-depth analysis at the link here.
Conclusion
Congratulations, you are now up-to-speed on the Surgeon General’s latest advisory and are aware that parents are stressed and likely suffering mental health qualms. You also know that generative AI can be an aid to parents in coping with stress and potentially garnering mental health guidance.
That’s a twofer here.
Please be astute if you opt to use generic generative AI in this manner. You might want to consider too the customized generative AI apps that provide similar capabilities and are specially designed and built for these uses, see the link here.
A final thought for now.
As memorably well-stated by John F. Kennedy: “Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.”
I mention this to emphasize that besides focusing on parents, we are simultaneously focused on the act of parenting and the end result on the children. This is another twofer. Help the parents to deal with stress, reduce stress, and rechannel stress, along with giving guidance to aid the mental health of the parent, which in turn should boost childrearing and what the children shall become.
Leo Tolstoy gets the last remark here: “Everything depends on upbringing.”
Yes, everything depends on upbringing, including how our society fares and what the future will hold for us all. Parents, keep your spirits up, be sound, and do the best you can as a parent, thanks.
