By Richard Eisenberg
Stop saying ‘retire to’ something
Financial advisers and personal-finance writers give plenty of useful advice about managing your money wisely for, and in, retirement. But there’s vital information that many people aren’t told.
It’s the reason that 76% of retirees have seen someone struggle with the transition to retirement and that nearly half say adjusting to retirement took longer than expected, according to a 2023 Retirement Coaches Association survey.
Robert Laura, founder of the Retirement Coaches Association and author of the new book, “Retirement Intelligence,” lays out insights, both financial and nonfinancial, that can help you make retirement more satisfying.
Retirement is ’empty’
The first thing no one tells you about retirement is that retirement is “empty.” It’s a manufactured phase of life that doesn’t hold or contain anything.
“You have to fill it with things that are of value and important to you,” says Laura, a former financial adviser. “What I see too often is people sometimes fill retirement with the wrong things.”
If, for instance, you plan to remodel your kitchen to make it easier for family to come over but your family rarely does, “it doesn’t necessarily make sense to invest $30,000 or $40,000 in your kitchen,” Laura says.
“People sometimes think stuff will add value to their life, but the stuff doesn’t change anything,” he explains. “You have to be that change.”
Beware of the dark side
Another thing no one tells you about retirement, is to beware of the dark side. Understanding and managing your mental health should be a much higher priority than a stock-market crash.
“This is really what got me into the business of retirement coaching. I kept seeing clients who had millions of dollars and who had never run out of money, but they were miserable,” Laura says.
“There are five important parts of retirement: mental, social, physical, spiritual and financial,” Laura says. “Financial is just 20% of the puzzle. You’ve got to get everything else right in addition to getting the money right.”
Still, a major pullback in the stock market, as we saw briefly in early February after President Trump announced tariffs on Mexico, Canada and China, can be chilling.
“A stock-market crash is a legitimate fear and obviously making sure you’re not destitute or reliant upon others is important, but it shouldn’t be the main priority,” Laura says.
Prepare for subtractions in retirement
“Up and coming subtractions” another thing no one tells you about retirement.
Although you gain time and freedom when you leave your full-time job to start retirement, you may also lose routine, direction, social connection, mental stimulus and influence.
This is why so many people grieve the loss of their career identity in retirement and become unsettled or disoriented, Laura believes.
If you don’t plan for the subtractions, once you retire, you may start questioning your decision to begin this new stage. Laura has seen this in results of assessments he’s done of new retirees.
“People have to find a way to replace things like work identity and routine,” says Laura. “From a financial perspective, this is where things can get really expensive. Because as you try to figure out these replacements, you can spend a lot of money joining the country club or buying a boat.”
Retire from, retire to, retire with
Retirees often don’t realize that retirement doesn’t eliminate work. They need to “embrace the job requirements ahead in retirement,” Laura writes.
Job requirements in retirement?
“Well, you’re responsible for yourself and your relationships. I think it’s about embracing your responsibilities and then being proactive about them,” Laura says.
One of his pet peeves is when retirees and near-retirees are advised to “retire to” something. I felt a pang of guilt because I have often written that when planning for retirement, you need to think more about what you want to retire to and less about what you want to retire from.
Laura disagrees. The focus should be on what you want to retire with.
“One of the most interesting things I’ve observed over the last 15 years of doing this is that people think they’re going to be someone new when they retire,” says Laura. That suddenly they’re going to step across this line and the heavens are going to open up. Hallelujah! And now they’re this brand new person.”
Instead of trying to reinvent yourself in retirement, start your reinvention process before you retire.
“That way, on the first day of retirement, you’re not going to say: ‘I’m finally ready to go to the gym. I’m going to start eating vegan. I’m going to visit the kids 10 times this year, even though I haven’t in the last two years,'” says Laura. “It’s much easier to maintain things than it is to start fresh.”
In other words, before quitting your job, begin doing things that give you meaning and purpose. Then, plan to continue them once you retire, perhaps more frequently or differently.
What financial advisers don’t do
Laura blames the financial services industry for being one reason so many of us haven’t been told these crucial things about retirement.
“I think the problem with the financial services industry is there’s a ‘hard’ side and a ‘soft’ side to retirement. The hard side is the numbers, the soft side is this mushy-gushy stuff,” Laura says. “We need to wake people up, so they’re better prepared for the transition.”
-Richard Eisenberg
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02-12-25 1311ET
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