It’s said that money is the root of all evil. Whether that is true depends on what you believe and how you define “evil.” A less controversial statement (and therapists backs us up here), is “Money is the root of a lot of fears.” Even wealthy people can fall into an anxious spiral about it.
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GOBankingRates spoke with psychologists to hear about the top three financial fears they see among patients. How do these experts treat these fears so that people can move forward in their lives in a healthy way?
You may be barely getting by on minimum wage. Or you may have a cushy job and a maxed out 401(k) match. Or you may be somewhere in between. It doesn’t really matter where you fall on the spectrum of wealth. Financial fears do not discriminate. You may be scared you’re going to lose it all.
“I have clients with constant fear of losing financial stability, even if they have what others might consider a ‘good’ income,” said Vikas Keshri, MSW RSW, clinical director at Bloom Clinical Care Counselling and Therapy Services. “They’re haunted by thoughts of losing their jobs and end up with nothing. This fear is especially intense for people who grew up in poverty. Even after they’ve worked hard to build a better life, that sense of financial insecurity never really goes away.”
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Nobody likes having debt, and given how much we know about its destructive nature, it can be incredibly scary to live with. The fear of debt and its myriad consequences can create a vicious cycle of negative feelings that can be even more destructive than the debt itself.
“For some, it creates shame, guilt or even hopelessness,” said Dr. Carolina Estevez, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist at Crestone Wellness.
“This fear often leads to avoidance behaviors, like ignoring bills, avoiding financial conversations or feeling paralyzed when making a repayment plan.”
Some people are already dependent on others for money and they don’t have a care in the world about it. Others carry their own financial weight (and maybe even the weight of others, like their spouse and/or children) and are deathly afraid of losing their financial independence.
“For some, the idea of relying on others financially feels deeply uncomfortable,” Estevez said. “This fear might lead to overworking, avoiding necessary expenses (like medical care) or refusing financial help even when it’s genuinely needed.”
Once acknowledging that you have financial fears, you need to validate them, even if they feel random or you recognize that they’re totally illogical.
“When we talk about these fears in therapy, the first step is to validate them,” Keshri said. “These feelings aren’t irrational — they’re rooted in real experiences and systemic issues.”
If the fear of debt you’ve amassed is holding you mentally or emotionally hostage, you need to make an actionable plan to handle it. Just don’t get overwhelmed. Your therapist will help you make a plan that you can tackle piece by piece. For optimal results, loop in a financial advisor, too.
“The first step to tackling debt anxiety is breaking it down into smaller, manageable steps,” Estevez said. “Creating a realistic repayment plan that doesn’t feel overly restrictive can make a big difference. Therapy can also help address the emotional side of debt, like shame or self-blame, while a financial advisor can offer practical guidance for managing repayment.”
Keshri works to help clients separate their financial worries from their sense of self-worth.
“It’s so common for people to blame themselves for financial struggles, seeing them as personal failures,” Keshri said. “That shame can be paralyzing, so we focus on untangling those emotions and reframing how they see themselves.”
“Sometimes, it’s about learning to handle those panic-inducing moments,” Keshri said. “When anxiety hits, it helps to have emotion-regulation tools on hand. Things like deep breathing, grounding exercises or even just pausing to remind themselves that they’ve gotten through tough times before can make a huge difference. These small tools help them stay present and ride out the wave of anxiety without spiraling.”
Robert Roopa, a psychologist at Counselling Services for York Region, works specifically with people who struggle with anxiety disorders. He finds that many patients struggle with concerns that affect their financial health, but that they may not be aware of it. They may think it’s something else they’re worried about. This unknowingness prevents patients from dealing with the root of the problem. The only way to get to the root is through deep reflection and working things out in therapy.
“It’s only through deeper reflection that they learn that their primary concern is influenced by a deeper fear (often referred to as a core fear),” Roopa told GOBankingRates. “For example, someone may attend counselling for a fear about their partner leaving, but after further evaluation they come to understand that their concern about their partner is influenced by their fears of being financially insecure and they don’t believe they will be able to cope if their partner did leave.”
When done right, therapy helps us cope with living in a world that is largely beyond our control. It is, ideally, an emotional and thoughtful journey that teaches us how to manage worries and prevent them from wreaking havoc on our mental health.
“This could look like challenging negative thinking and learning more about how to better build their self esteem in both areas (finances and their relationship),” Roopa said. “This could include helping them recognize behaviours they may be engaging in that may influence the relationship negatively, but also help them develop skills that will help them manage their finances so they can feel more secure. This could also look like engaging in reflective exercises to understand where they can further develop their skills to help build their income potential.”
Perhaps the worst way to try to cure a fear, other than pretending it doesn’t exist, is to aim for financial perfection. Breaking through money fears isn’t about becoming Warren Buffett (though, surely, he should inspire you); it’s about being at peace.
“Financial health isn’t about being perfect — it’s about feeling secure, informed and in control of your financial choices,” Estevez said. “If it feels overwhelming, reaching out for professional support is always a wise and courageous step forward.”
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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: I’m a Psychologist: These Are the Top 3 Financial Fears of My Patients — And How I Treat Them
