It’s difficult enough to recognize and exit a toxic personal relationship. When that relationship is also intertwined with the bread and butter of your profession, it can be even more painful to unwind.
Jordy, the GLAAD and Queerties-nominated singer-songwriter, could write a book about this. Instead, he wrote his fourth studio album, the listen-on-repeat pop collection In Retrospect. From Normal People, a bop that encourages self-grace when we’re not where we thought we would be at a given stage of life, to Little Distractions, a ballad that explores addiction in a rare and beautifully vulnerable manner, the album is reflective, encouraging and ultimately uplifting.
“I honestly thought at first the whole record was going to be a breakup record because the catalyst for this project was getting out of a really unfortunately toxic professional relationship that I had going on for many years of my career,” Jordy says. “I’m never trying to throw anyone under the bus, but l think a lot of artists can relate to having difficult industry relationships that really have an impact on you and your mental health,” he says.
“I think when you’re an artist early on in your career and someone believes in you there’s an immediate intimacy with that. People think of intimacy in a romantic sense, but the relationships artists have with the people in their corner in the industry is also really intimate. I think it’s important for any artist or creative to hear that if it gets to a point where it’s costing you your mental health, it’s not worth it. This was a business decision.”
At first, Jordy says, he started writing angry breakup songs. “Anger has always been a hard emotion for me to express because as a queer person and growing up in a world where you’re automatically needing acceptance, being angry feels like such a scary thing because all you want is that acceptance and anger is not an attractive quality. I think a lot of women can like relate to that as well. But what do you do with it? What do you do when you feel that legitimately?
In this case, Jordy says, writing the album was not only cathartic, “but as the angry songs came out of me I slowly realized there were other songs. It felt really vulnerable and I don’t think I would have gotten here if it wasn’t for having the opportunity to express the anger and get those feelings out of my system so I could arrive at this new place. Yes, I was angry at this person but I also needed to look inward and figure out why I kept them around for so long. I think a lot of that comes down to how I was viewing myself. There were a lot of reflective moments.”
Making the move meant potentially risking more promotional and financial outcomes for the album in the near term. Jordy is grateful to be in a place where he could opt to disengage anyway.
“You need to find the balance. Of course we all work really hard and we’re all grinding and of course there’s mentally taxing seasons of business, but there was just a point where, I don’t know what will happen to my career but it’s not worth feeling this way,” he says. “I look back now and I’m happy with the decision and so happy with the people who I surround myself with. It’s also part of being 31 now vs. 22 when I moved to LA. Now I can say, ‘I’m not comfortable with that. No.’”
The process has brought the artist to a new place of calm. “I feel like the music industry has gotten to a point where artists feel this pressure to have their albums be viral hits before the album even comes out, and I’ve hit a point where I’m like, this is my fourth album and I’m at a different place mentally. This album will be out forever and I have all the time in the world to promote it whereas in the past it’s been a race to go viral and get those numbers up. I’m so much more at peace.”
Also helping Jordy remain centered? A return to his love of reading. In his ideal world, a physical book, and a piece of fiction.
“Getting back into reading changed my life. I was always a huge reader as a kid and I was an English major in college but I lost I just kind of lost my groove with it. In 2023 when that relationship was hitting a point where I was about to play a show in LA and I was really just not in a good mental space, really anxious and not my best. I went to a local Barnes & Noble on a whim and just picked out a book. A juicy thriller. I read it in 24 hours. And now I’m reading a couple books a week. Reading fiction forces you into the shoes of someone else. It takes you out of your mind and it’s also escaping the phone. It’s just a beautiful thing.”
More than ever, he’s grateful for the community and fans he’s cultivated during the past decade—those who’ve stuck by him through his relationship ins and outs, through the vaping addiction he quit last year, and through his continued immersion via song in the heart and mind of an openly gay man trying to make his way.
Some of those fans have even surprised him.
Not long ago, Jordy was having breakfast in Burbank when a man he estimates at 60-something approached his table. “He shows me his phone and says, ‘Are you this guy?’ And I was like, ‘Yeah that’s me.’ And he said, ‘I’ve been following you for a long time and I just want to say it’s so special to see a younger openly gay man singing about love because I never had that when I was young.’”
“And to me, that’s so freaking cool. Whatever happens in my career, happens. Whether we play stadiums one day or we don’t, at the end of the day we’ve been able to reach people and the music has been able to make this impact and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s just this really intimate, personal exchange that I get to have with these people.”
Mind Reading (formerly Hollywood & Mind) is a recurring column that features interviews with musicians, actors, athletes, creators and other culture influencers who are elevating conversation and action around mental health, and breaking stigma.