Long-time readers know that last year, my dad died unexpectedly. Shortly after, my mom moved in with me. Around the same time, my mother-in-law required more care, resulting in an unplanned move to a nearby assisted living facility. While I have one child out of the house (living her best life while working in Berlin), I still have two kids in college. That means we have a full house and continued financial pressures.
I’m hardly alone. For millions of Americans, the family budget is being pulled in two directions. You may still be paying for child care, school expenses, or college while also helping an aging parent with housing, groceries, transportation, medical expenses, or day-to-day care.
That financial squeeze is commonly associated with the “sandwich generation”—adults who are raising children while also caring for aging parents. But a new report suggests that those responsibilities are beginning earlier, taking up more time and reshaping families’ finances more dramatically than many caregivers expected.
According to the Care.com 2026 Sandwich Generation Report, today’s sandwich caregivers took on both sets of responsibilities at age 34, on average. They have already spent an average of 6.4 years managing overlapping care. Eighty percent said the shift was sudden (like mine) while 86% said they were completely unprepared when it happened.
The report was based on a survey of 1,000 U.S. adults who have children age 14 or younger and currently provide care for both their children and senior family members. That means that they didn’t survey folks in my shoes, who have older children and senior family members, but I can confirm that the worries and the costs are not very different.
The Cost Of Care Is Changing Financial Futures
More than four out of five respondents—82%—said care costs make their household feel financially strained. Eighty percent said paying for both child care and senior care has changed the financial future they expected, while 77% said they feel financially behind because of their caregiving responsibilities.
Those findings reflect more than the costs of child care or elder care. Caregiving can also mean paying your parent’s utility bills, buying groceries, covering prescription costs, providing transportation, or making room in your home (including making it more accessible for older parents). Some expenses, like the costs of medications or nursing care, are obvious. Others may simply be absorbed as part of the ordinary household budget and may not be tracked at all.
To keep up, you may find yourself reducing savings or redirecting money that had been set aside for other goals. More than half of survey respondents—52%—said savings are deprioritized when caregiving demands increase. Seventy-one percent said their responsibilities make them feel guilty about spending money on themselves (my son and my mom got new sneakers before the hole in the top of mine shamed me into a new pair).
That can create a long-term problem. Money that would otherwise be directed toward an emergency fund, retirement plan or college account may instead be used to meet an immediate care need. And the financial impact is not limited to household expenses.
Caregiving May Also Cost Future Income
More than half of caregivers surveyed—55%—said they had turned down a promotion, raise or new opportunity because of their dual caregiving responsibilities. Among millennials, that figure increased to 61%.
I completely understand this. For years, I’ve driven kids to dance recitals, soccer practices, and doctor’s appointments. Now, I’ve added in trips with my mom—who doesn’t drive—to the library and the bank, as well as numerous doctor’s appointments, lab work, and other errands.
There are also visits I never expected—like trips to the emergency room after a fall. Unfortunately, falls are remarkably common among older adults. More than 14 million Americans age 65 and older—about one in four—report falling each year. In the U.S., that translates to about three million emergency room visits and one million hospitalizations annually. More than a third of those who fall suffer an injury that requires medical treatment or restricts their activity for at least a day. That means that a single fall can turn occasional help with groceries or transportation into medical bills, home modifications, and ongoing care.
Fitting those responsibilities around a workday can be exhausting. So, it’s no surprise that two-thirds of those surveyed said their career ambitions had been diminished because of their child care and senior care duties. The same percentage said they had hidden the full extent of those responsibilities from their employer. An astonishing 55 percent had considered leaving the workplace altogether.
That lost income isn’t just a blip. Turning down a raise doesn’t just reduce this year’s paycheck. It can also mean smaller future raises, reduced retirement contributions and lower Social Security benefits later.
Caregiving is the equivalent of a part-time job. Respondents reported spending an average of nearly 24 hours per week arranging, coordinating or providing care. For mothers, that figure rose to nearly 27 hours. And it’s usually mothers who are on call—half of mothers said they are always the default person others turn to when care is needed, compared with 33% of fathers. I can relate. When my kids were younger and I traveled for work, school still called me first when one of them was sick or another issue came up—even when the school knew I was out of town.
Families Are Missing Planning Opportunities
Caregiving doesn’t merely change how you spend your money. It can make it harder to find time to manage money at all. Forty percent of respondents said they had missed or reduced time spent on financial planning during the previous year because of their caregiving responsibilities.
You may put off reviewing insurance coverage, updating an estate plan, or meeting with a tax professional. Those tasks often slide to the bottom of the list. Unfortunately, that’s also where annual tax planning tends to end up—and missing a planning opportunity can cost real money.
A Potential Tax Break
One example? A tax credit for dependents. You likely already know that children can qualify you for certain tax breaks. In some cases, an aging parent can, too.
Notably, your parent does not necessarily have to live with you to qualify as your dependent. But they generally must meet the IRS rules for a qualifying relative for purposes of the Credit for Other Dependents—basically the equivalent of the child tax credit for dependents who don’t qualify. To meet the criteria, your parent cannot be someone else’s qualifying child, they must meet the citizenship or residency requirements, their gross income must be below the annual limit, and you must provide more than half of their support.
For 2026, the gross-income limit is $5,300.
Social Security can complicate the math. Nontaxable Social Security benefits generally do not count toward the gross-income limit, but benefits your parent uses for food, housing, clothing or other living expenses do count when determining whether you provided more than half of their support.
That means your parent may satisfy the income test but still fail the support test if they pay a significant share of their own expenses.
Support generally includes food, lodging, clothing, transportation, medical care, and similar necessities. If your parent lives with you, the value of lodging is generally based on the fair rental value of the space and household services you provide, not simply your mortgage payment.
Medicare benefits are generally not counted as support. However, Medicare premiums and unreimbursed medical expenses that you pay for your parent may count as support you provided.
You’ll want to keep detailed records of housing, food, transportation, insurance premiums, medical bills, home care, and other living expenses. Those records can help you determine whether you paid more than half of your parent’s total support.
A $500 Credit Does Not Match The Cost Of Care
Before you start spending that tax savings, remember that the maximum credit is only $500. That may feel small compared with the amount you’re actually spending. That is especially true when you’re providing housing, transportation, and medical support while also losing income or scaling back your career.
And those dollars matter. The Care.com report found that 55% of respondents said the high cost of professional caregiving support has a major impact on their finances, while 52% cited a lack of affordable or accessible care options.
The $500 credit may not be the only tax benefit available. Depending on your circumstances and the expenses you pay, you may also qualify for certain medical expense deductions, head-of-household filing status, or other tax breaks. Take a look at your entire return rather than assuming the credit for other dependents is the only line item that matters.
It’s Never Too Early To Plan
The survey found that 84% of sandwich caregivers believed understanding more about the full cost of care would have helped them when they first took on their responsibilities. One obvious lesson is that planning matters. So, my advice is to start now—that means not only having a financial plan in place, but also thinking about the practical, time-based issues, such as how you’ll manage day-to-day living issues (who gets the groceries?) as well as medical visits.
If you are already supporting an aging parent, begin tracking the time and money involved as you go. And importantly, also keep records of your parent’s own income and how it is being used. Those numbers can help answer the support question for tax reasons.
While most of us who are taking care of parents and children have no regrets (I remind my own mom that she took care of me for years, so I owe her), you what caregiving is really costing. For many members of the sandwich generation, the answer is considerably more than they expected.
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