Gratitude is a practice for appreciating what you have while continuing to pursue what matters.
There’s a quiet trap that catches a lot of ambitious people. You hit the goal you’ve been chasing, feel good about it for a moment, and then your attention slides to what’s next. The bigger role. The next round. The next milestone. Some version of your life that’s just slightly better than this one.
Psychologists have a name for the pattern. The hedonic treadmill, first described by Philip Brickman and Donald Campbell, is our tendency to return to a baseline level of happiness shortly after any positive event. That rush you feel when something goes well fades faster than you’d guess. There’s a related concept called the Better-Than-Now Bias, drawn from a set of studies in Psychological Science. When people were asked to imagine how their lives could be different, they consistently imagined lives that were better. Across eight separate studies, participants kept constructing upward comparisons, quietly overlooking whatever progress they had already made.
Together, those are the mechanics of the treadmill. The gap between where you are and where you think you should be stays open, because the target keeps moving.
Ambition itself is useful. That drive is often what makes high achievers good at what they do. The trouble starts when ambition operates without a counterweight. Success stops feeling like success while wins stop landing. You look up one day and realize you’ve built something impressive, and you barely feel it.
Gratitude is that counterweight, though I want to be careful how I frame it, because the word carries a soft, self-help reputation that undersells what it actually does. Gratitude is a practice of noticing more. It trains your attention on what’s already true and good in the life you’re building, while you keep working toward what’s next.
The research is stronger than most people realize. In a landmark study by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, participants who kept weekly gratitude journals reported more optimism, exercised more, and felt better about their lives overall. Other studies link regular practice to better sleep, lower stress, and higher life satisfaction. Sonja Lyubomirsky tested six different gratitude activities across nearly a thousand adults, and one clearly outperformed the rest: writing a letter to someone you’re grateful for, even if you never send it. A real letter, with specificity, addressed to a person who gave you something. The depth is what makes it stick.
That tracks with my own experience. A few years ago, I was staring down my tenth surgery, this one to repair a torn meniscus. I remember waking up a few days before and crying at the unfairness of another long recovery. Once I moved through the anger and accepted what was coming, I decided to launch a thirty-day public gratitude challenge, starting the day of my surgery. Every day, I posted something I was thankful for. Committing publicly changed the exercise entirely. My brain started actively scanning for things worth naming, and it kept finding them. By the end of the month, I was seeing my life differently.
For anyone leading a team, this scales. Psychologists use the term capitalization to describe what happens when we share good news with someone who responds with genuine enthusiasm. Research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who did this consistently felt closer and more satisfied. The same effect shows up at work. In one study, employees who received a simple thank-you from their manager felt more competent, more appreciated, and were more willing to help again.
If you’ve been on the treadmill a while, a few questions tend to break the spell.
What’s genuinely good about your current chapter that you would have been grateful for five years ago?
Whose support have you left unacknowledged, even to yourself?
If you sat down tonight to write that person a letter, what would you want them to know?
And what would it look like to keep chasing what matters to you while letting this win count on its own terms?
Getting off the treadmill is about letting the life you’re already building register, while you keep building it.
This is post #10 in a 12-part blog series inspired by the themes in Parul’s recently released #1 Amazon bestselling book, The Path of Least Regret: Decide with Clarity. Move Forward with Confidence. The book is available in hardcover, ebook, and self-narrated audiobook on Amazon and other major online retailers. Learn more at parulsomani.com/book.
Each post in the series stands alone, but together, they empower readers to navigate the emotional journey of change and decision-making with resilience and intention. To read earlier posts, visit Parul’s Forbes contributor page.