Hunter Biden’s crypto coin has crashed as hard as a crackhead coming down from a long bender.
The prodigal son’s new $LAPTOP meme coin skyrocketed from roughly $3 to more than $300 within seconds of its Wednesday debut — only to surrender virtually all of those gains minutes later.
As of midday, Biden’s cryptocurrency was changing hands at about $2.60 after the spectacular round trip, according to pricing data cited by Bloomberg.
The token had generated nearly $6 million in trading volume and carried a market valuation above $750 million.
President Trump’s son Eric Trump was quick to mock Biden over $LAPTOP’s stomach-churning debut.
“Hunter should go back to painting,” he wrote on X, referencing Biden’s shady painting career.
The 56-year-old Biden launched $LAPTOP on Base, the blockchain developed by crypto exchange Coinbase, with trading beginning on decentralized exchange Aerodrome.
“They turned laptop into a weapon. I turned it into a token,” Biden wrote on X on Tuesday, ahead of the launch.
The $LAPTOP moniker was an outrageous reference to the presidential scion’s notorious device — whose contents including messages about Biden’s foreign business dealings and photos documenting his drug use that were first reported by The Post in 2020.
The currency’s wild debut marked the latest example of the extreme volatility that has become synonymous with meme coins, which have little inherent value and largely trade on speculation and internet buzz.
Biden said he would give 20% of the $LAPTOP supply to people who lost money trading Trump’s $TRUMP meme coin.
Biden — who’s been sounding off on everything from his past drug addiction to the woes of mainstream Dems during a series of podcast hits since his father left office — took another swipe at Trump in announcing the token.
“Trump has broken trust in everything he’s ever touched,” Biden wrote. “And his token was no exception.”
The Trump coin delivered heavy losses for many of the retail traders who piled into the president’s cryptocurrency.
Trump’s meme coin was recently trading around $2.20 — roughly 97% below its January 2025 record of $73.43.
Nearly 1 million retail traders lost an estimated $3.8 billion on $TRUMP, according to a July 2026 report by Democratic staff on the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations that cited blockchain analysis.
Biden, meanwhile, has acknowledged that his newfound enthusiasm for crypto has a profit motive.
“I really believe in cryptocurrency,” he recently told podcaster Tucker Carlson. “But I also want to make some money.”
The $LAPTOP project was initially designed with a supply of 1 billion tokens, according to the Wall Street Journal, which cited people familiar with the plans.
Biden and his fellow founders were slated to receive 30% of the supply, with their allotment locked for six months and becoming fully available over two years, the Journal reported.
The project also devised an unusual “burn” mechanism that could permanently destroy as much as 30% of the token supply if certain predetermined events occur, such as a Democrat winning the 2028 presidential election and $LAPTOP’s fully diluted valuation surpassing that of $TRUMP.