Natalie Beckerman’s new book, When Did You Stop Caring?, asks a question every business leader should consider. Not because leaders don’t care. They do. But somewhere along the way, many organizations have become so focused on efficiency, automation and cost reduction that customers feel the companies they once loved doing business with don’t care about them. The experience makes customers feel as if they matter less.
When Efficiency Goes Too Far
Efficiency isn’t the enemy. Customers actually appreciate companies that make doing business easy and efficient. The problem begins when efficiency becomes the goal instead of a tool.
Beckerman’s book points out that many companies have implemented systems and automation designed to improve the customer experience, but without realizing it, have instead damaged customer relationships. Instead of bringing companies closer to their customers, the experience ends up pushing them away.
Overdoing efficiency results in policies that prioritize operational metrics over customer satisfaction. None of these decisions are made with bad intentions. The decision-makers don’t intentionally want to push customers away, but that’s the result. When customers feel like they are navigating cumbersome self-service options, not getting the answers they want, then being forced to wait on hold for an agent who asks them to start over … well, what would you expect?
The result is predictable. Customers become disconnected from the company. The experience is just a transaction rather than one of many interactions (repeat sales), and the company becomes a commodity, looking like every other competitor. Customers no longer believe the company cares enough about them to make things right.
Technology Should Support Humans, Not The Other Way Around
I’m an enthusiastic supporter of AI, but only when it’s done correctly. My 2026 customer service research found that customers embrace AI when it makes an experience faster, easier and more convenient. Specifically, 58% of customers think AI technologies have the potential to improve the overall customer experience, and 54% believe AI and chatbots have significantly improved the speed and efficiency of customer service. However, what frustrates them is when the technology makes it difficult to get transferred to a live agent who can help and solve their problem.
Automation should eliminate friction, not empathy. AI should handle repetitive tasks so employees have more time to build relationships and solve complex problems. The best technology doesn’t replace caring. If it works, it shows the company cared enough to create a system that works. And if more help is needed, it has a system that seamlessly routes the customer to a human for support.
Smart companies recognize that technology shouldn’t compete with human support, but instead, they should work together.
Hire For Heart
You may be familiar with the saying, hire for attitude and train for skill. Beckerman takes this to the next level, substituting heart for the word attitude and adding in the need for experience. Her advice is to hire for heart and experience, then train for skill.
This reminds me of an interview I had years ago with Jim Bush, then vice president of worldwide customer service at American Express, who shared a great story I included in my book The Amazement Revolution. He talked about hiring customer support representatives and said that if he had to choose between someone with years of contact center experience and someone with no contact center experience but who had worked at a hotel front desk, he would hire the hotel employee.
He went on to say he could teach any competent employee about systems, processes and product knowledge, but it is much harder to teach someone to genuinely care. Good hotel employees have a hospitality mentality, which includes the heart and care that Bush was looking for.
Your Service Is Your Brand
One of my favorite chapters in Beckerman’s book is Chapter 14, Your Service Is Your Brand.
Many companies spend a lot of money defining their brand through advertising and marketing campaigns, but customers define a brand differently. They define it through their experiences. Every interaction with your company either reinforces your brand promise or weakens it.
Doing what’s required simply completes a transaction. Doing it with care creates an emotional connection. That’s what customers remember.
If service is your brand, create an experience they tell others about and that gets them to come back again and again.
Final Words
Companies haven’t forgotten how to care. I believe many have simply allowed efficiency to become so important that it hurts their ability to take care of their customers the way they used to.
Beckerman’s When Did You Stop Caring? is a reminder that caring isn’t soft. It’s strategic. AI, automation and self-service should make it easier to serve customers, not easier to avoid them. The companies that win in the future won’t be the ones that replace employees with AI. They’ll be the ones that use technology alongside humans. Most customers want fast answers to questions and easy ways to resolve problems, but they also want to feel like the company and its employees care.